1. When you hear someone say ‘UC,’ you don’t think ‘University of California’Share on Pinterest2. You know the word ‘depends’ has more than one important meaningShare on Pinterest3. You never want to hear the phrase ‘I have to go now’ againShare on Pinterest4. A flare is not just something in a roadside emergency kitShare on Pinterest5. You’ve seriously considered carrying a plunger in your purseShare on Pinterest6. Your poop talk is no longer confined to discussing your child’s diapers — and your friends are used to itShare on Pinterest7. Everyone you know will give you advice on diet, stress management, and exercise … but all of those people have colons that actually functionShare on Pinterest8. Your doctor tells you not to be stressed or embarrassed by your symptoms, which only causes you to be stressed about not being stressed about your symptomsShare on Pinterest9. Instead of checking out where the nearest exit is in the restaurant, you always check out the quickest route to the bathroomShare on Pinterest10. You literally LOL when someone asks if you want to go horseback ridingShare on Pinterest11. It’s totally normal to say words like ‘colon’ and ‘rectum’ in casual conversation, often with total strangersShare on Pinterest12. You agree that the best thing you can do for yourself is to join a gym and exercise, as long as you can get the treadmill closest to the bathroom doorShare on Pinterest13. Your friends say, ‘Wow! You’ve lost so much weight!’ and ask for your secret like it’s a good thingShare on Pinterest14. You’ve actually liked an official UC page on FacebookShare on Pinterest15. You know that you’re never going to buy the green bathroom tissue that feels like tree bark — or really anything less than two-plyShare on Pinterest16. Your fear of the line at the restroom door exceeds your fear of zombies and spiders combinedShare on Pinterest17. You really want to participate in a walk to raise money for UC research, but only if there are porta-potties strategically stationed along the routeShare on Pinterest18. You know that the hashtag #BadGut has nothing to do with beer belliesShare on Pinterest19. Your bathroom is the best-decorated room in your houseShare on Pinterest20. Taco Bell is definitely not on your list of approved foods. In fact, no Mexican food is. Neither is Indian, or Thai, or anything else that tastes goodShare on Pinterest21. The automatic flushing toilet doesn’t understand that you just might not be ready to leave yetShare on Pinterest22. The phrase ‘trust your gut’ has absolutely no meaning for youShare on Pinterest23. You joined Costco just to buy toilet paperShare on Pinterest24. When you got colitis, the bottom didn’t fall out from your world; the world fell out from your bottomShare on Pinterest25. When someone shouts, ‘I hate your guts!’ you immediately think, ‘Me, too’Share on Pinterest26. You have your ‘special pants’ for the day after your prednisone treatmentShare on Pinterest27. You’re on a first-name basis with the endoscopy technicianShare on Pinterest28. The list of foods you can’t eat is longer than your Christmas listShare on Pinterest29. No one wants to go on a road trip with you, because, well, you knowShare on Pinterest
