After experiencing sexual assault, the thought of being physically intimate with another person can be intimidating. However, it’s possible to reconnect with your body and build intimacy with others again.

Sexual assault can affect people in many different ways. Sometimes, a person may feel an aversion to dating, sexual activities, or any kind of physical touch after experiencing sexual assault.

Content warning

This feature mentions experiences of sexual assault. Please read at your own discretion.

A 2021 meta-analysis of prospective studies found that people commonly experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after sexual assault.

PTSD is a mental health condition that can cause a range of challenges. PTSD after sexual assault may lead to:

Everyone processes trauma in different ways and at different timescales. Therefore, it’s important to be patient with yourself on the journey to recovery following sexual assault.

A mental health professional can offer guidance and support for navigating mental health challenges following sexual assault.

Research from 2020 notes that mental health professionals may recommend the following types of therapy:

Leah’s story

“One of the most important steps in rebuilding trust and intimacy with a new partner after sexual assault is first rebuilding trust and intimacy with yourself.

“Before integrating intimacy with another person, it’s essential to reconnect with your own body, boundaries, and sense of safety. That process often includes exploring what intimacy looks like now, not just sexually, but emotionally, physically, spiritually, and relationally.

“Trauma can change how intimacy is experienced, and part of healing is redefining it on your own terms.”

After experiencing sexual assault, your relationship with your body may change, and you may experience physical symptoms when you engage in sexual activities by yourself or with a partner.

A therapist may recommend some of the following exercises to reconnect with your body after sexual assault:

When you feel ready, you may want to try masturbating to build up feelings of safety around sexual activity. It’s important to be patient with yourself and prioritize feelings of pleasure over pressure to orgasm.

Leah’s story

“One of the most important tips I would offer is to first check in with yourself. Before having the conversation, take time to notice how your body responds to the idea of sharing your experience.

“Pay attention to your emotions, your physical reactions, and whether you feel grounded enough to engage in that discussion. Your body often signals readiness before your words do.”

You don’t have to talk with your partner about sexual assault you have experienced. However, doing so may help them understand what you’re going through and any difficulties you may experience during physical intimacy.

When communicating with a partner, you may want to:

  • Remember to take things at your own pace: Building trust with a partner takes time. You might decide to share more details over time, but you don’t have to share any details that you don’t want to.
  • Set aside a specific time for discussion: When you feel ready to talk with your partner, you can consider a time and setting in which you feel relaxed. If having a conversation in person feels daunting, you might want to schedule a phone call or write down what you want to share with your partner instead.
  • Share what makes you feel supported: You may find comfort in holding your partner’s hand while you talk, or you may prefer to have more space by sitting apart from your partner.
  • Express your new needs: When you’re ready to be physically intimate with your partner, you may want to talk about what sexual activities you enjoy and how you would like to share physical intimacy with them.
  • Check in during physical intimacy: You can continue to communicate your needs with your partner during moments of physical intimacy. It’s important to remember that you can stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
Leah’s story

“Before being intimate with my partner for the first time after my sexual assault, I made the intentional decision to have an open conversation with him. I shared that I had a history of sexual trauma and sexual violation, and that as a result, I had significant boundaries around intimacy, touch, and sex.”

“Even forms of physical affection that are often considered ‘normal,’ such as hugging or casual touch, felt overwhelming to me. My partner initially struggled to understand why those interactions were difficult, which ultimately prompted me to share more about my experiences.”

“When I spoke with my partner, I led with vulnerability and clarity. I shared that I wanted to talk because I respected where we were in our relationship and wanted to be honest as we moved toward intimacy.”

“You don’t have to share everything at once, and you are allowed to set parameters around the conversation. Let your partner know whether you’re open to questions or if you’re not. You get to decide how much you share, when you share it, and what support looks like for you.”

“It’s okay to say that intimacy feels complicated or frightening because of what you’ve experienced. Sharing that truth helps your partner understand that your boundaries are rooted in safety, not rejection.

“It’s also helpful to clearly communicate what you need in order to feel supported, whether that’s patience, reassurance, slower pacing, or specific boundaries around touch.”

“Vulnerability plays a key role, but so does collaboration. It’s important to allow your partner space and grace to process, ask questions when appropriate, and express their own needs. Healing and rebuilding intimacy work best when both people feel included in the process.”

The United Kingdom’s National Health Service (NHS) suggests the following tips for supporting someone who has experienced sexual assault:

  • listen to them, but avoid asking about details of the assault
  • reinforce that the assault was not their fault
  • remember that physical touch may be upsetting for them, so make sure to ask before holding their hand or giving them a hug in support
  • respect their decisions around the sexual assault, such as whether or not they reported it to the police
  • be patient and give them time to process their feelings
  • don’t put pressure on them to be physically intimate
Leah’s story

“My partner and I established a code word that I could use if I began to feel overwhelmed or needed things to pause or stop. That agreement created a sense of safety and mutual understanding without requiring me to explain myself in the moment.”

“A partner who genuinely cares will not rush healing or intimacy. They will move at a pace that prioritizes safety, respect, and mutual understanding. Rebuilding trust after sexual assault is not something to be hurried. It’s something to be nurtured, together.”

You may want to consider speaking with a mental health professional if you’re experiencing symptoms of PTSD or feeling concerned about being physically intimate with a partner.

Mental health professionals can offer a wide range of support and therapy options.

If you have recently experienced sexual assault or abuse, you should consider:

  • calling 911 or your local emergency number to report it to the police
  • visiting a hospital, rape center, or doctor’s office for medical attention
  • seeking help from trusted friends or family

For less recent assaults, you may still be able to report them to the police or receive medical care to prevent sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. It’s advisable to do this as soon as possible.

If you’re unsure if you have experienced sexual assault, you may want to speak with a helpline, support worker, or lawyer specializing in this area.

After experiencing sexual assault, you can reconnect with your body and build intimacy with partners.

You might first want to take time to process your feelings and reconnect with your own body before communicating your needs and engaging in physical intimacy with your partner.

Mental health professionals can offer a wide range of support and therapy options for anyone who has experienced sexual assault.