Key takeaways

  • Proper preparation makes anal fingering safer and more enjoyable. Preparation can include washing hands thoroughly, trimming and filing nails, and using generous amounts of lubricant throughout.
  • Communication and explicit consent are essential before trying anal play with a partner, and discomfort during the activity signals a need to add more lubricant, adjust technique, or stop entirely.
  • Various techniques can enhance pleasure during anal fingering, such as targeting the prostate with a “come hither” motion and stimulating the anal opening and perineum.

If you’ve never engaged in anal fingering before, there are steps you can take to help you get prepared and make the experience as pleasurable as possible. It’s also good to be aware of how to clean up afterward.

Read on for information about getting started, positions to try, talking with a partner, and more.

The following steps can help you prepare for anal fingering.

If you’re the giver

  • Check your nails for dirt and jagged edges, and tend to them as needed so your nails are clean and smooth.
  • Wash your hands thoroughly before going in to help reduce the risk of infection.
  • Apply a generous amount of lube to your fingers and your partner’s anus. Keep it handy to reapply as necessary during play.
  • Ask your partner how you can help them relax and get ready.

If you’re the receiver

If you’ll be on the receiving end of anal fingering, you’ll want to do this first:

  • Go to the bathroom beforehand so you don’t have to worry about it later.
  • Consider using an anal douche beforehand to clean things out.
  • Take a shower or wash your butt with water and mild soap.
  • Get relaxed and in the mood with a warm bath, masturbation (solo or with your partner), or other foreplay.
  • Have lube on hand and either apply it to your butthole or have your partner do it for you.

Anal play isn’t as taboo as it once was, and more people are open to experimenting with this pleasure spot than ever. Still, anal sex of any kind remains a sensitive topic for some, so a conversation needs to happen outside the bedroom first.

Having the conversation during sex can muddy judgment and perception, so it’s important to have the conversation beforehand. Clear communication and consent are essential.

To bring it up, simply let your partner(s) know that you think anal fingering could feel really good and want to know if this is something they’re open to trying.

Be sure to do the following:

  • Talk in “we” rather than “I.” Sex isn’t just about you, after all.
  • Be clear about who would be doing the fingering/receiving.
  • Accept that a partner may say no and don’t try to change their mind.
  • Be clear that being comfortable with trying anal fingering doesn’t automatically mean that your partner will also be comfortable with penis-in-anus or any other sex act.

Here are some tips and tricks that’ll make anal fingering and any other type of butt play a better experience all around:

  • The more lube the better to help avoid pain when it comes to butt play, so apply it liberally and reapply as you play.
  • Water-based lube is fine, but silicone lube is better for butt play because it’s thicker and longer-lasting. It’s best to avoid oil-based lube as it is more likely to cause irritation.
  • Put down a towel or waterproof blanket to keep your sheets clean.
  • You can make cleanup a breeze by wearing a latex glove or finger condom and tossing it after.

It’s best to avoid anal fingering if the receiver has anal fissures, hemorrhoids, or other injuries or conditions affecting the anus.

Some discomfort is common if your anus isn’t used to being penetrated. In this situation, try adding more lube or changing the technique or position.

If it continues to feel uncomfortable, stop. Anal fingering should be pleasurable, so don’t try to force it. It might not be a fit for your body, so listen to the signs that your anus is giving you!

Poop is possible but not likely

You may feel nervous or uncomfortable about the risk of poop appearing during anal fingering.

Poop is stored higher up and rarely makes an appearance during anal play, though it’s not impossible.

Since you’re stimulating a lot of the same nerves back there, you might feel like you’re going to poop, but it’s unlikely.

If some poop does appear, you can clean up with soap and water. Just wiping your bum, you want to avoid going from back to front — as in bum to genitals — to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into your urethra and causing a urinary tract infection (UTI).

Here are some anal fingering positions that can be modified to work solo or with a partner.

Bottom on back

  1. The person being fingered lies on their back.
  2. They bring their knees up to their chest.
  3. They place a pillow under their lower back to raise their hips.
  4. They reach down to finger themselves or have their partner sit or kneel in front and finger them.

Facedown

  1. The person being fingered lies facedown on the bed.
  2. They can rest their arm on their back and reach down to finger their anus, or have their partner lie or sit next to them and finger them.

Doggy style

  • The receiver gets on all fours.
  • They can reach around and pleasure themselves, or their partner can sit or kneel behind to finger them.

Anal fingering can be oh-so-much more than just some in-out action! Try these techniques to take it to another level.

If you or a partner has a prostate

  • Come hither: Slide the index finger inside the anus and curl your finger toward the belly button in a “come here” motion. Keep repeating the motion, gradually increasing your speed as the pleasure builds.
  • Circling: Insert your finger and gently run the pad of your finger all around the perimeter of the prostate. Circle it crosswise for a few, then move to counterclockwise, and repeat. Change the pressure and speed to find the combo that feels best.
  • The human vibrator: Press the pad of your finger against the P-spot and use a short and fast vibrator-like motion. Go side to side or up and down, as long as you keep the motion quick and vibe-like.

If you don’t or a partner doesn’t have a prostate

  • Come hither: Insert the index finger and curl it toward the bellybutton and move it in a “come here” motion over and over. Gradually increase the speed and pressure as desired.
  • Circling: Rather than circling the prostate, put light pressure on the front wall of the rectum and move your finger in a circular motion over the tissue or A-spot. Increase your speed and pressure, allowing the pleasure to build up.
  • Just the tip: The anus has lots of sensitive nerve endings on the outside and inside, so just the tip of a finger can feel pleasurable. Apply just enough pressure to push just past the surface. Slowly twist the fingertip one way and then the other, over and over.

A finger vibe or bullet vibe comes in handy because they’re easy to maneuver over other parts and small enough to target small pleasure spots like the perineum, clit, and nipples.

To prep your butt for fingering or build up to something bigger like a butt plug, penis, or fist, an anal dilator kit can help.

Hands-free toys like a wearable vibe or cock ring are also an easy way to ramp up pleasure while enjoying anal fingering.

Post-anal fingering cleanup and aftercare doesn’t have to be a big to-do. Wash your hands and any toys with warm water and soap, then let the toys air dry.

Throw out any barrier used. If you put down a protective blanket or towel, put it in the wash and do the same with any other soiled clothing or bedding.

Your butt muscles and anus might be a little tender after. Soaking in a warm Epsom salt bath can help.

Anal fingering can be fun and pleasurable whether you do it solo or with someone else.

Make sure to prepare properly, including washing hands and taking time to relax. It’s also essential to discuss anal sex with a partner beforehand to ensure proper consent.

Different positions and motions can help increase pleasure during anal sex. Trying different techniques can help you find what feels right for you.

Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a Canada-based freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.